Fact: Sometimes life is really fucking hard. My life, from the outside looking in, looks pretty damn good. I’m healthy, have a beautiful home, an incredible husband. But if you were to crawl inside my head you’d find a cesspool of negative thoughts. It’s not a pretty place to be right now and it feels like there is no escape.
I live in a new state, 900 miles from the life I knew, I hardly know a soul and my husband who was my business partner for the last 14 years is now pursuing a new career. We chose this. I know that. But when you completely flip life as you knew it upside down, it’s hard not to look around and question everything. I had a clear cut career path that I pursued with reckless abandon for a decade and a half and now nothing about my career makes sense to me. It’s as though this move is causing a lot of buried truths to come bubbling to the surface.
So what are we supposed to do when nothing makes sense? Honestly, it’s made me realize why so many people drink and do drugs. If I wasn’t so acutely aware of what a slippery slope that is, I’d be staring at the bottom of a bottle right now instead of painfully sorting thru my every thought. But coping and numbing the pain is not a solution. It’s a bandaid, it’s temporary. There is no way around pain, the only way to the other side is through.
I’ve reached a place of agony today that has left me with this thought… When nothing makes sense, what makes you feel happy and proud? What makes you feel inferior and not-worthy? Not on the surface, but deep down in your gut, what makes you feel peace and what makes you feel defeat? These answers are our life’s compass. They can guide us to the life that we’re meant to live. They can deliver us from the life that is dragging us down.
Be relentless in the pursuit of that which makes you proud. That which makes your life feel like it’s worth living. Be ruthless in freeing yourself of that which makes you feel lifeless. Surround yourself with people that empower you and feel empowered by you. Refuse to settle. Believe that you are capable of great things and you will be.
Life is too fucking hard and short to not live a life that makes you proud and leaves you fulfilled.